A topnotch WordPress.com site

Archive for February, 2015

All Because my sister sent a group text

Yeah I haven’t been here in a minute. I thought I would try and get back into the swing of things. My mind has been going a mile a minute lately, so besides working on my books that also have taken a back seat in the past few months, I need another outlet. So I thought I would post something that I posted on FB a few days ago.

I am sure most have seen the picture of the Ass family. My sister sent a group text one morning with the image of the Ass family, and of course jokes and laughter ensue. After our texting stopped I could not let it go (no surprise there) so I post this on face book a few days ago.

                                                        The Ass Family

The Ass family portrait was not compete, it was missing the three oldest boys, identical triplets Punk Ass, Lying Ass and Ugly Ass. Those boys had been in and out of trouble all their lives. One day Punk Ass met Stupid Shit and they fell madly in love. Her parents Little Shit and Big Shit were not happy, they thought Punk was a thug. The Ass family did not get along with the Shit family which upset Punk and Stupid because Stupid ended up pregnant. Punk and Stupid felt they had no choice so they ran away and got married. When the Ass and Shit family found out it hit the fan.
Lying Ass and Ugly Ass stood up for their brother Punk Ass and now their sister Stupid Ass. Soon the blessed day came and Stupid ass gave birth to twins boys Silly Ass and Weird Ass and all was forgiven once Grandpa Ass, Grandma Ass, Grandpa Shit and Grandma Shit saw their Silly Ass and Weird Ass grand
kids.
But when the whole Ass family came home people started talking saying that kids looked like Lying Ass and Ugly Ass (Hello triplet brothers). So the Ass and Shit family felt the only thing they could do was go on the Maury Povich show. DNA swabs were taken from Lying, Ugly and Punk. Lying and Ugly were given a lie detector test.
The results were in, the audience seemed nervous, but the Ass and Shit family never budged, they were firm in their conviction.

Maury: “Lying Ass you are Not the father of Silly Ass and Weird Ass. And you have never slept with Stupid Ass.”
The audience cheered then fell into a hush waiting for the rest of the results.
Maury: “Ugly Ass you are Not the father of Silly Ass and Weird Ass. And you never slept with Stupid Ass.”
Again the audience cheered. There was only one result left
Maury: “Punk Ass,” Maury paused, “You ARE! the father of Silly Ass and Weird Ass. There is no question you have obviously slept with Stupid Ass.”
The audience stood on their feet clapping and cheering. The Ass and Shit family ran on stage and had a big ass family hug.

They all lived Happily Ever After. That is until Uncle Crazy Ass and Aunt Wise Ass moved in.

And all this happened because my sister Chrystal sent a text.

Ass Family

Advertisements

Tag Cloud